WANTING WHAT YOU CANT HAVE

Asalamualaykum (Peace be upon you),

How are you?

Have you ever been in that situation (where you've lost your keys and your mobile phone) - Jokes haha!

Have you ever been in that situation where you have looked around and observed your surroundings where you are largely content with what you have but there still remains one aspect in your life in which you want to explore, or see to eventually make a decision about it.

A lot of times as kids or teenagers things are dictated in a way that things are strictly black and white with no leeway. Don't get me wrong, I actually appreciate that because without guidance then what are we? People who guide us have our best interests at heart. They are the people that we need in our lives to keep us on the right track, and to bring us back if we go astray.

My point however, is that sometimes there are some things in our lives that are ours to explore. That reflect our own true interests. That we know that there are many outcomes and we are warned about them but we still want to explore it just to be 100% certain that there is no other alternative. To know whether there is a slight chance that the best outcome will happen and the worst will be avoided. To be in a situation where the choice you make does not affect those around you.

Its hard to explain and I hope I am making sense. 

It's just sometimes I think about these things where I want to make a specific move in my life but I can't because there are just too many factors that would be affected in a way that can be ruined and irreversible. 

It is usually the things that are big in your life but not in anyone else's life. 

The things that people think that you are over but in fact you're not. 

The things that seemed so minor but are huge

The things that people think you have forgotten about but they're still alive in your heart

The things that cause confliction because there is no actual right or wrong answer.

The thing that eventually you are going to have to be content with because you are the one who has to make the right move. 

Its hard.

I get it.

Just wish sometimes things were more clear cut.