TIME/ AGE/ MOMENTS

Asalamualaylum (Peace be upon you),

Wagwan! - Haha Jokes, 

How are you?

I wasn't sure what to speak about today but I thought maybe if I began writing, maybe something would formulate in my mind.

So if this blog post does not make sense, please don't judge me haha.

I don't know who reads my posts and if you do please let me know, I would love to know what kinds of things you guys like to read! 

Anyways - I am trying to think about whats new in life as I write, 

Exam season has begun! Officially had our last day of lecturers for second year of university yesterday - now we have broken up for easter holidays/ revision period. 

Its weird because even though they say its easter holidays, I don't see how people who sit exams can even take it off to relax. Just thinking about how close exam times are, makes me think I need to start revising from now.

Also, my birthday is literally in the middle of all my exams, I have an exam a day before my birthday and a day after my birthday.

Its not that I celebrate my birthday or anything its just as I have grown older, for some reason my birthday just signifies one day closer to something. I can't explain it, I don't want to say one day closer to death because that's just way too deep and that's not necessarily what I think about, rather it means that I need to start getting on my game religiously and try to keep up my imaan more strongly and try to keep consistent. Its one of those things where I feel like I try as hard as I can to make my actions right, but its what goes on inside that I feel I need to pay attention to even more and maintain and keep strong. I need to make myself FEEL and keep reminding myself what life is all about.

That's why the fact that my birthday is in the midth of my exams makes me feel slightly anxious because it doesn't give me time to reflect what my birthday will signify and what my aim should be.

Its almost like 'new years revolutions' except mine happens with age (on my birthday) and its more spiritually related - also physically but physical stuff never seems to go according to plan. Haha.

I'm not sure if this makes sense but I understand where I am coming from in my head and I hope it comes across here.

I can only make myself calm down and realise its just age and time will still keep ticking and insha'Allah it'll just be another day and Insha'Allah I will have time to get better and to keep improving on my deen. We can always keep learning.

We can never say we know everything and we can't feel satisfied - but we can get better.

Anyways, I hope you are all well! 

Hope this wasn't too deep haha

Thanks for reading!