GRABBING LIFE BY THE HORNS.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

All my life I have felt as though I have put myself into a caged box, worried about things that others would usually jump and be excited about. 

I worry that if I say yes, then someone else would disapprove. 

I worry that if I say yes then someone else will be affected.

I worry that if I say yes, then I cant talk about what it is that I enjoyed. 

I worry that if I say yes that others wont be happy for me they'd just be like 'aw' but nothing else. 

I worry about others. 

I generally don't care about what others think of me or what they might say about me. 

I am always happy when others enjoy themselves and tell me all about it. 

However, I do care when I do something that is exciting for me but I worry about telling others about it. 

I don't fully know why, or what it is. 

But I wish I could ignore it. 

I wish I was able to do things on a whim. 

I want to get better and not worrying about what others might think, or whether others might feel left out, or whether they wish they could come along. 

I just feel concerned constantly. 

I feel like I build this anxiety up in myself without necessarily having a clear stimulant. 

I feel like this feeling is always stronger when it concerns family. 

I need to relax, and not worry. But how do you do that if that is what first comes to my mind? 

I feel constantly conflicted.