CONFIDENCE AND MUSLIMAH TOGETHER?

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

One of my good friends suggested this topic as a blog idea and I think is very important to address. 

One of the stereotypes that surround Muslim girls is that they should be very meek and quiet.

What does this say about muslims as a whole? (Note that i'm saying MUSLIMS not ISLAM. They are two separate things).

It says that many Muslims have some sort of culture behind them, be it Asian, Arab, African, Western etc. What we fail to do is distinguish the teachings of our religion from the what is drilled into us via culture. 

Many parents expect their daughters to be quiet and un-opinionated, they expect them to do what is told, even if it means removing their hijab or dressing a particular way to please others. 

However, Islam teaches Muslim girls to be modest, in control, to be educated and to be strong. 

Being confident does not mean raising your voice and shouting, it does not mean to be loud and obnoxious, it does not mean to expose your body and walk down the street. 

No,

Confidence means to be relied on, to be a source of assurance, to be a woman who can hold her own, to stand for what she believes in, to become teachers to the generations to come, to not be swayed. 

Sometimes, we know our parents want the best for us, but how we interpret how they want us to be can change. 

For example, if we are required to be quiet, we can be as sometimes it is better to listen than to constantly talk, but at the same time, we need to learn! We need to teach! We need to defend what is right! 

Everything bottles down to how you interpret it.

We need to be confident, we are confident. 

THIRD YEAR DISSO

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

As I have now entered into my third year of university, I have been trying to work on my final year dissertation.

I have decided to a topic looking at the impact of culture and religion on different situations.

I have created a short survey that will take less than 8 minutes to complete.  I would love if any of your reading this could complete which I will attach here:

https://qtrial2015az1.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4GSz00kUNO3sAD3

The connection between culture and religion has always been a fascination of mine, how human behaviour can change as a result.

Often people forget that the western countries also have a 'culture' but just because they live in that country they assume that those with culture have to be from Asia, or Africa or the Middle East. 

But that is not the case. 'Western culture' is a thing. It is something that people can conform to, be it that people alter their behaviour accordingly, or that certain things are valued more than others.

We all have an element of culture!

YOU ARE NOT INDEPENDENT... OR ARE YOU?

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

We all want to be independent.

But what does that even mean?

Does independence mean that we completely forget our morals and values and start doing the things that we were initially told not to do?

Or is it where we come into our own and start by abiding by our own moral structures, at the same time have a say in what we do, look after those who are close to us and be able to support ourselves?

I very much hope its the latter. 

Having to improve ones interior to reflect the exterior is hard work, sometimes even a struggle. The fight to not become hypocritical is real! 

The effort of trying to support your own words of wisdom in itself is difficult. Maybe thats why we need to make sure we follow what we preach instead of speaking empty words. 

Life makes you think 'who do I want to be?' 

Even spirals towards 'who am I?' 

Theres a person who I think of when I write these words that makes me think, if I were to ever be faced with said person, who would I say I am, who would I be? How would I come across? Why do they affect me so?

Maybe its the not knowing, maybe its one of those things that you need to find out for yourself. 

Or maybe its better to leave things be. 

ISLAMAPHOBIA IS NOT A THING

Asalamualaykum warahmatullah,

As I sit in my room contemplating social media and its influence, be it articles written by aspiring journalists, or news headlines creating awareness, there is always two sides to that particular story.

As a Muslim woman growing up in a largely white community, I cant complain. Yes there were certain difficulties, but I know some have it worse. 

Sitting in sociology class was interesting, as we were comfortable enough to share our opinions, which stayed between us, however, we cant have the comfort of sociology forever.

In a way it was interesting, leaving school, going to university, it was almost as though people were becoming more racist and judgemental, and hateful after we all begin our separate ways.  

One thing I have always questioned is why? Do people who have these very strong opinions know anyone who is completely different to themselves, be it colour, race, experience or even religion? 

Have they come into very close contact/ relationship with someone who, for example is a Muslim and who has hurt them directly? Have they even tried to make an effort with someone who is blatantly different?

I just remember a time when someone told me, 'racism no longer exists'. But I was like, 'How do you know? Who are you to make that statement?' 

I don't want to make assumptions that everyone doesn't know what its like to have hate on who they are and where they come from, but personally, from observations, its usually those who have nothing about that to be hated upon, who have the most spiteful opinions, and the ones who can casually state that racism no longer exists. 

This leads me to Islamaphobia.

Firstly, I would like to acknowledge and appreciate the non-muslims who are strong and independent and do not rely on social media to tell them how to think. 

We can all be easily fooled by anything when we lack information on that particular topic. 

Recently in the news was the story about a boy from America whose name was Ahmed, who built a clock. This very young lad had BUILT A CLOCK. What was the first reaction of the school? To create a bomb scare?! WHY .. WAS IT BECAUSE HIS NAME WAS AHMED?!

We are not free, we do not live in a free country, we are still restricted, but we can remain strong. 

One post that really resinated with me was this: 

All it takes is for us to dig deeper. 

'It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.'

ARE YOU REALLY THAT HEALTHY?

Asalamualaykum warahmatullah, 

People commonly talk about health, be it physical, emotional, internal, ideal etc.

But what does it mean to be healthy? Is it really all about how we look from the outside?

So many people argue that it is all linked together, for example if you are physically healthy, this helps your mental state which helps your emotions which then allows you to be happy about how you look.

But what about those who are not in the position of physical health just yet, and have to live with what they have? 

Why do we only celebrate the idealism of the society and not its individuality.

I would love to live in a world where we can all be accepted for where we are, and what we look like.

It isn't, however that easy to get rid of preconceptions. 

As a community, we need to individually believe in our beauty. We need to believe in on the inside and let it reflect naturally on the outside. Everything works from the inside to the outside. 

BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. JUST BELIEVE IT. 

Convince yourself, find the positives, and who careeeees what others think. Honestly what gives us the right to thing someone else is ugly from the outside. A person is only ugly if they're ugly from within. But no-one can be ugly from the outside. 

We. Are. Beautiful. 

CONTRADICTIONS, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, OUTSPOKEN OPINIONS AND MORE!

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Profanity here, nudity there, which ones do we fit into?

This world and its contradictory laws, claims and opinions can be so extreme, no wonder people are confused. 

The fact that we have people like Katie Hopkins who I quote recently said: "Show me bodies floating in water, play violins, and show me skinny people looking sad. I still don't care." WHO IS SHE?! 

WHY, and I repeat WHY is she allowed to say this so freely? HOW and I repeat HOW does she have the audacity to publicly express her opinions, when without fail she'd retaliate the moment others object to her unjustified opinions. 

The sheer nerve that people have these days to think they are being accepting and using the phrase "Its 2015 ..." as a way of thinking that we as a society have grown into a mass acceptance is just ridiculous. 

How DARE we sit here and complain and think we are important to express such disgusting views, that are just extremely vile, whilst our fellow brothers and sisters are out there SUFFERING, being PUSHED OUT OF THEIR HOMES, yet people call them MIGRANTS?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY.

We are so proud to say that we are growing and we are becoming accepting individuals and that things that wouldn't be allowed back in the day are now allowed, yet most of the things that we are accepting are things largely surrounding the LGBT community, less around accepting religion, yet we remain BLIND to poverty, helpless individuals by our media covering up REAL issues by talking about something such as 'coming out'. 

 Wow. Where our priorities lie is just amazing. 

I get that what is important is subjective, but wow. 

We are seriously lost.