TAKE OVER BLOG!

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

Todays blog will be written my sister. 

The Media and Islam 

Two things that co-exist together side by side.

However the media is stereotyping Islam and associating all of us with the extremist group Isis.

This misconception is one that needs to be cleared up as people seem to be believing everything the media is telling them about how Isis is ALL Muslims and that Islam is the reason behind all of these attacks when in fact they are just using it as a scapegoat for their actions that, if you think about it, have no real reason to be carried out. 

This whole situation is so ridiculous and to make it worse, the government have bombed Syria hoping to rid the world of Isis. They have done these actions without thinking of the consequences/how Isis are going to retaliate. 

What if they decide to bomb Britain?

What if they do something even worse?

What if?

This is a situation that effects all of us Muslims today in our day to day lives and I feel that all the decisions that the government makes to try and make it better, will only backfire and result in a bigger catastrophe. This is a topic that my friends and i seem to talk about quite a lot and they agree that the government and the world is so messed up right now. They also think that if this carries on they way it is, then we may end up in world war 3.

There is a debate/speech done by Mehdi Hasan called 'Islam is a religion of peace' that highlights all of these points that I've made and more in much more detail.  If you have just 10 or more minutes to spare please listen to not only his side of the arguments but also the opposing sides arguments to get the whole picture of what they think about the topic. 

Sumayah xx

BLOG UPDATES

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Just a quick message: 

So I was thinking that I need more of a schedule with regards to my blog so that I remain consistent insha'Allah.

I haven't got an exact day yet, but I was thinking Sundays but I might try and post more. 

If theres any recommendation on topics please let me know that would be helpful so I have an idea of what you would like to see. 

Thanks guys! 

See you later. 

12 THINGS I HATE ABOUT ME

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

Today I thought I would write about 12 things I hate about me. 

Not that I hate myself - just things I want to change or I don't particularly like. 

So here we go ..

1. Unforgiving - I find it very very difficult to forgive someone once they have done something towards me. 

2. Stubborn - I am incredibly stubborn when it comes to certain events. If I know I am right in something, I cant let it go and let someone else just have their moment. I have to prove that I am right. This only mainly happens towards family members. 

3. Trusting - I don't know if this is a good or bad quality, but I trust people very quickly, and then realise my mistake later on. I can pretty much create a conversation by opening up first, and sometimes that doesn't play well in the long run. But - you never know. 

4. Unmotivated - I can be motivated sometimes, but it comes and goes in phases. I wish I could remain motivated for long periods of time to accomplish something. I feel like I lose motivation like some people lose their keys. Especially if its something that I know I want to accomplish, but I have to sit down with myself and remind myself why I wanted to do something in the first place.

5. Worried - I feel like I'm constantly worried about others, how they might feel if I do something etc. I feel like this limits me when I want to do something. I am constantly thinking about how it would affect other people, whether people would feel left out, whether they might not like it. And generally its things that I would enjoy. I do find it unfair, especially if the people whose reaction I worry about, freely do as they please. This links to.. 

6. Over-thinker - I constantly overthink everything. Even if its something that doesn't need overthinking about. For example age. 

7. Double Chin - If there was a magical way to get rid of a double chin, hit me up

8. Past - I am not a fan of who I used to be, but then, I wouldn't be who I am now.

9. Control - I feel like because of certain events, I need to be in control. I feel like I can only rely on myself to do things properly, on time and make sure things are done. I only say this because I know that some people around me never take responsibility. Plus I feel like people push responsibility onto me so I have no choice but to deal with it in a way that I know how.

10. Making Decisions - I cant make decisions when I am with other people. I would much rather do what others wanted to do. Which could be a good thing. 

11. Not Saying Yes - I have been getting better at this but I find it hard to say yes just like that if it interrupts my schedule. Which is linked with control, but I find it difficult to do something if it wasn't planned.

12. I clearly don't hate that much of myself haha. 

So there is my list of things I don't like. 

Some of you might be surprised that there may not be a lot of image oriented comments. 

But the thing about image is that everyone is different. I don't aim to have a body like someone else. 

That doesn't mean I am happy with it, but it doesn't mean I don't like it either. 

I don't agree with image and this obsession with having to look a certain way all the time. Just live your life. We don't have forever to be concerned about it. 

I'm sure that at the end of the day, image is the least of our priorities. 

THOUGHTS BEFORE 2016.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

It is currently 00:39am of Sunday 27th December 2015. 

What is my position right this second?

Well, I am sitting on my mattress, on the floor, at home, with my laptop on my cushion, on my bent left leg which I am about to swap to my right, with the pitter patter of the rain outside. 

What is my wider position? 

Well, I have an assignment for my Psychology of Creativity module due in January, my dissertation waiting for me to begin, my 3 week christmas holiday running away from me. 

My last semester of university is fast approaching. 

I am constantly worrying. Not about my work, not about anything except time.

Why does it bother me so much?

Maybe it has something to do with control. Time is so out of my control that I don't know how to handle it. If only clocks and time, and dates didn't exist. 

It gets worse when things that I am used to begin to end or change. 

It gets worse when I think about it earlier than its time.

I wish we could grasp every moment and store it in a jar, only to revisit it. 

Thank god for cameras and videos, but they're simply not enough. 

For me when the change has happened and I settle in something else I am fine, its just the time up to a changing event, especially when I don't know what comes next, that gets to me. 

The past number of years have been comforting. At least I know that I have somewhere to go back to, something to look forward to. But now I don't know.

What do I have to do?

Enjoy the next few months.

Make the most of every moment, occasion, event.

Live them and enjoy them. 

Understand that life goes on until it doesn't anymore. 

La illaha illalah.

There is no God but Allah

Muhammadan Rasoolullah

Muhammad (pbuh) is His Messenger. 

The time is now 00:49. 

I guess I knew what I had to say. 

GRABBING LIFE BY THE HORNS.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

All my life I have felt as though I have put myself into a caged box, worried about things that others would usually jump and be excited about. 

I worry that if I say yes, then someone else would disapprove. 

I worry that if I say yes then someone else will be affected.

I worry that if I say yes, then I cant talk about what it is that I enjoyed. 

I worry that if I say yes that others wont be happy for me they'd just be like 'aw' but nothing else. 

I worry about others. 

I generally don't care about what others think of me or what they might say about me. 

I am always happy when others enjoy themselves and tell me all about it. 

However, I do care when I do something that is exciting for me but I worry about telling others about it. 

I don't fully know why, or what it is. 

But I wish I could ignore it. 

I wish I was able to do things on a whim. 

I want to get better and not worrying about what others might think, or whether others might feel left out, or whether they wish they could come along. 

I just feel concerned constantly. 

I feel like I build this anxiety up in myself without necessarily having a clear stimulant. 

I feel like this feeling is always stronger when it concerns family. 

I need to relax, and not worry. But how do you do that if that is what first comes to my mind? 

I feel constantly conflicted. 

HOW WELL DO I KNOW A FRIEND?

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

Today, as a tribute to my friend Maria, who is so gassed right now, I decided that I would write this blog to make her day and cheer her up a little. 

What I have decided to do, is set up a number of questions which I will answer down below, and post it up regardless of whether I have got the right answer or not, but I will try my very best.

1. When and How Did We First Meet?

Maria and I met when me and my bestie Zubeda were looking for a flatmate. I had initially seen her message that contacted me and so we had a conversation that literally was formal.

However we first met during the summer holidays of 2015 where I came to London to meet her and we went to dinner, where she began crying as she was telling us her life story. But to me that was a relief because I am generally an open book so it was nice that she opened up to which let me open up also. 

2. What is One Food That She Cant Live Without?

Maria is in love with dessert. That is all I have to say. 

3. What Do You Most Admire About Your Friend?

One of the things that I admire about Maria is her strength with regards to doing what she thinks is right. I think in a way, her environment has given her so much freedom that she could have gone down different routes but she has stuck to her guns and religion and alhamdullilah I admire how she has put self-control on herself which is something that is generally difficult to do. 

4. What Favourite Memory Do You Two Share?

Although I haven't known Maria for that long, I feel like i've known her forever, which can be a positive. There have been multiple funny times thus far. One of the funniest would be when she just started crying on cue as she tried to justify why she missed work to her boss. 

Another time would be us pranking out family members by saying that we got arrested and we were charged with carrying cannabis. 

And also silly pranks such as scaring each other and her trying to fit into a hanger. 

5. What is Your Friend Really Bad At?

Organisation and patience

6. What Does Your Friend Think About The Most?

Her future and how she can make her family happy. 

7. What is Your Friends Worst Habits?

Probably simple things such as switching lights off or closing the microwave door! 

8. What is Your Friends Favourite Animal?

CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS 

9. What Are Three Things That You Friend Carries Around With Them?

Her purse/ card holder

Phone

I would say keys but it seems that she has a habit of forgetting them. 

Coat 

10. If There Was Something You Could Change About Her What Would It Be?

I wouldn't change her as a person, I would hope that she wouldn't let little things get her down. Maria has a habit of hearing something from say a friend or family about herself and feels the need to change right there and then even though that thing might hurt her. 

I hope that she gains the confidence to know that she is a great person and that she is who she is and that she is comfortable with that, and if she is to ever better herself it would be for the sake of Allah and herself. 

Lost for words.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

What can I say that will make anything better.

What can be said that will stop all of this stupidity, hypocrisy and pain.

Who do we think we are. 

How can we blame a country for a groups action.

How can we be hypocrites.

How can we think that this will stop everything.

This is just the beginning of the end.

Why is no-one using their brains?

How has noone applied this to themselves? 

Why do they think they are free of comparison?

What have they not thought that this could happen to anyone, and that Britain is just lucky that it has not been connected to the idiotic groups of this country? 

How can you kill innocents and sleep peacefully at night?

How would you feel? 

Really

How would you feel?

Absolutely gutted. 

Absolutely useless.

Absolutely lost.

BENEFITS OF GIVING CHARITY

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

Charity is one of the most important and universally contributed acts of kindness around the world. 

In Islam, charity is one of the five pillars of our religion. What this means, is that it is a basic act that Islam necessitates as a benefit for others.

Giving to charity, however, does benefit the giver as well as the receiver. 

Here are some of the benefits of giving Charity:

1. Makes the wealth pure: Islam requires Muslims to earn a living in a halal manner, through a job that is not illegal or defies the rules of Islam. For example, selling alcohol. However, if someone were to give that money that they earn to charity it makes their wealth pure. 
2. Purifies man from his sins: Charity is one of the best ways to expiate past/ present sins. It allows an individual to replace any bad deed with good deeds by benefiting someone else also.
3. Giving charity increases blessings and provision: SubhanAllah, this in itself is a test that we can try it out ourselves. So many times, in giving charity, sooner or later you receive wealth. My mum used to always tell me that when you give and pray to Allah, you will receive wealth from sources you never expect from. 
4. In the day of judgment the givers of charity are given shade.
5. The scales of deeds will become heavy with good when you give charity. This will aid in your favour
6. Giving charity allows us to to pass the seerat (the thin bridge that will need to be crossed to reach Jannah).
7. Giving charity also raises an individuals place/ ranks in Jannah. 

Hopefully, these tips will motivate us to give charity and not be so resistant to giving charity willingly. 

THE NEED TO BE BETTER

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

As we grow older and our time becomes shorter and faster and far more precious, we have to create priorities in our lives to make it better and efficient. 

When we are young and free we take advantage of the fact that we can waste time, we can dream we can hope for the future. 

But once you actually reach the age that you so badly wished for when you were a child, dreams slow down as you begin to take in your surroundings one at a time. 

Obviously you don't completely stop planning for the future, but you begin to question where time went, and how you wish you made the most of your past. 

One of the positives about growing older is recognising important relationships from less important ones. 

It all boils down to making an effort. 

Once you have realised the people you want to keep in your life, the ones you want to maintain a relationship with, you have to physically go out of your way to nourish it and keep it growing.

Even if it is a relative, the way you behave towards them will affect the relationship in the long run. 

Its strange, how we, as religious people forget that our life has a purpose. A meaning. 

We forget that this life is not the one.

I recently heard a lecture where it was mentioned that we are naturally born to understand that we have an afterlife and we are looking for better things. This explains why we are making this life the jannah that we hope for, even though we are aware that one day we will pass away.

It is crazy that we know but we don't act. We understand but we don't change. We are stuck in our ignorant ways. 

We know that we wont be here forever, yet we don't work towards that afterlife that we know we are striving for.

We as humans rely so much on hope that we assume that the mercy of God will save us (which if God wills, is the case). 

However, we need to stop knowing information and not practicing it. Especially if that is what we claim to believe. 

We need to work towards an evident end. Create an aim to become better. 

An example of this is a brother who recently found that he had terminal cancer and was given a short amount of time left to live. Through this he realised the reality of how he will be left in his grave with nothing but his deeds, none of his material goods will be brought with him to the grave. 

This hit me. 

The idea that we waste time in arguments, in drama, in negativity, instead of knowing our religion inside and out and practicing it with purity, rather than getting lost in our materialistic goods. 

Ya Allah make us stronger. Make us better. 

Watch the video of the brother, it says it all there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJoId1f4f3M

PRAYERS FOR PARIS, SYRIA, PALESTINE, SOMALIA AND MORE.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Today, like every day, marks a tragic event whereby terrorist attacks were performed on the city of Paris. 

Such crimes are unforgivable anywhere and everywhere and it is so disheartening to hear.

I just want to address the injustice in the world when it comes to such events.

Its so very sad that people in this world can walk around so freely knowing that they will never ever have to be associated or blamed for actions of others unless they are related by blood.

However, people remain inconsiderate of the fact that Muslim people are now forced into a situation in which they feel the need to show their condolences towards such actions, as though to make sure that people don't start assuming that it is the whole of the muslim population who are linked with such affairs.   

Every day without fail, something happens to the people of Syria and Palestine and many more countries which are not even acknowledged let alone considered human enough to morn. 

People in the public eye such as Benedict Cumberbatch who have the DECENCY to even mention such events to the media, are then questioned for the potential BACKLASH that they MAY receive as a result of SUPPORTING people who are said, Syrians, who are escaping their countries to make sure their families survive. As though they are not humans?! 

Where is the common sense. 

Where is the humanity.

Suddenly, there has become this idea that when countries that are not in the west are attacked, it doesn't matter, like they don't exist. 

No-one deserves to be attacked, period. 

Muslims should NOT have to walk around fearing for their lives after the behaviour of some RANDOM people, who may or may not be mentally stable, who may be using the name of Islam to justify their actions. 

Yet people are still ignorant enough to act on ignorance, rather than even attempting to understand Islam and ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that Islam does NOT recommend such actions ANYWHERE. 

This world is not fair. 

There is always a double standard.

People ought to get their facts straight. 

We all ought to focus our attention on the victims, and catching the culprits, rather than looking to blame. 

Wallah these are the signs of the times.

I am the first to say that I need to fix up.

I see that all the minor signs are happening, let alone the major signs.

I need to feel. I need to prepare.

We need to do the best. 

MONEY IS THE BANE OF LIFE.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

Money.

Money is one of those things that we can all relate to as being a struggle or a focus in life.

I hold my hands up first to say I am so guilty of this. 

I would like to use the fact that I am a student who is on a limited budget as an excuse but that is not enough. 

There are times when the struggle is so real you don't know what to do. The days when you are in a position of having to hold yourself back with the lack of freedom, but even when you do have some sort of money it still isn't enough. 

However, is that still a big enough excuse to not to donate to charity? 

No, I don't think so. When you look at the story of Abu Bakr (AS) who gave up his wealth and left his family in the hand of Allah, that truly shows faith and belief. 

He was never left poor. He was always wealthy in more ways than one. 

In Islam, Charity is so important that it is part of the five pillars. 

It has to be a constant reminder in our minds.

My mother always brought us up to understand that when you give, Allah gives you more than you ever gave to anyone. 

There is a saying: 

"When You Show Mercy, the Most-Merciful Will Not Let Your Mercy Exceed His."

I will not dwell on this topic too much, Instead I will direct you to a video that encapsulates everything and anything that I would like to write on this blog, it truly is an inspiration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zETZHjL0VWk&list=WL&index=3

May Allah make our life easier and us more willing to give without thinking twice about it. 

NUDITY OR MODESTY

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

We often forget how exposed we are to nudity.

It is so normal for us to see adverts showing women half naked that we no longer double take.

But have you noticed its always women who are objectified this way?

Not that we want to deal with naked men as well as an issue.

Its odd to think that the more women are fighting for equal rights and feminism is becoming popular, the more women are used as sex objects and advertising material for music, shampoo, clothing and more. 

Its odd to think that people have the audacity to question the hijab, to say that it is restricting, to say that we are oppressed. 

What is oppression anyway?

Sheikh Google/ Wiki says that oppression is: 

"Prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or exercise of authority"

So tell me this, how is liberating yourself by covering up, being able to wear lose clothing, being judged by your mind and your actions, being able to be taken seriously a form of cruel or unjust treatment, OVER wearing no clothes, or wearing tight clothes, showing the shape of your figure, allowing yourself to be wolf whistled at, and commented on by the shape of YOUR body,  being put in a situation where you are without shame told whether you are other peoples idea of hot or not, being accepted or not accepted into a job because of what you are wearing.

Where in all of that is freedom?

Even us muslim girls conform to this ideology. We have a hijab on our heads but still we show off our bodies by wearing short or tight clothing, wanting certain parts of our body to be on show?

WHY? Take a moment to truly think about this. 

Actually think about whether we are just literally contradicting ourselves. 

Are we literally in this to please people in this world for a short period of time, over pleasing our Lord who holds our eternity?

I read a beautiful saying by Ustadtha Yasmin Moughad where she basically said that everyone is yearning for a paradise, and what ends up happening is we make this world our paradise, when it is not. Paradise is a beautiful place with no negativity, just beauty, happiness and eternity. Yet we are all very aware that this life is not that, yet we continue to force it into our own form of paradise.

It doesnt work like that. 

We need to be a team, we need to think about our behaviour, we are not animals who get to do what we want, when we want and how we want. 

We are creatures with a conscious, with the ability to have a choice and be held accountable for that choice. 

We are weak but we can be strong.

We just need to work on ourselves. 

I JUST DONT KNOW

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for my inconsistency in uploading my blogs. 

For some reason, inspiration has fled and I am left feeling as though what I have to say is not as interesting as I think it could be.

However, I realised that I started this blog as a way for me to express my thoughts and feelings and if any readers are interested then they are more than welcome to read it.

Recently, I have felt like I have had so much negativity in my life. Not necessarily directed towards me, but just around me. 

I feel like I cant handle it, but I am forced to deal with it. 

This summer so much happened that was emotionally straining that when I began my year of education again, I automatically released any stress that I was feeling, so much so that I feel like I have almost lost the energy to feel.

I have lost the energy to be angry, to be sad, to be happy. 

Its not good, not good at all.

Events that occur around me, that I have been involved in for a while, have now come to light, its as though everyone is becoming involved and therefore I want to become less involved. 

I feel like I just want to do what is best for me and leave anything that is not good for me. I feel like I want to be there for everyone and anyone but at the same time I want to avoid everyone. 

I feel like I want to release myself from certain shackles and completely do as I please, but habit and consistency keep me locked down. 

I worry that all of this will at some point come to an end, during an inappropriate moment. 

I often wonder if there are people there for me as much as I am there for them.

I wonder whether people are appreciative to me as I am for them.

I wonder if I am seen as a last resort, as a means to accomplish another's need to fulfil their dreams alongside some form of company. 

I wonder.

I feel like I need to let emotion out. 

They say that sometimes it is good to cry, to let it out. There is no shame about it. 

The more I think about it, recently I feel like anything could happen and I will become a broken tap.

I just need something to trigger it. 

I just need.. 

FIX UP

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Its strange.

Its strange to see those close to you go through hard times.

Its strange when you are going through a tough time that when you compare it to others, your problem seems so good that you become grateful.

Sometimes it is so hard to see the reality of a situation. Especially if you have convinced yourself otherwise.

Its hard to see things on a large scale, to see how wrong or right they really are.

We always give ourselves excuses. We always say 'it could be worse'. But could it really?

Wouldn't it make sense that when we know we are doing something wrong we should change. It should mean so much to us that we never repeat our mistake.

Something minor in your eyes is not minor on the day of judgement. 

Our actions can be the difference between jannah or jahanam. Why cant we see that?

Why is that not big enough in our eyes!

People throw around the words 'spiritually lost' like its nothing.

It is NOT nothing. 

When you experience being spiritually lost, you will know it. You will understand it. And it will no longer be minor. 

When you are spiritually lost you will not repeat what you have done wrong. Not for a very long while. You will feel it! 

People always want to appear good in the eyes of others. 

But why is our aim not to appear good in Allah's eyes?

Its so easy to see the wrongness of others and not say anything.

Its so hard to see your own mistakes on a large scale.

How are we supposed to become better?

People always say 'oh what I did is minor in comparison to..."

But just because you didnt do something on such a large scale, doesnt mean that something 'minor' like modesty or intention should be brushed to the side. 

At the end of the day, things that are minor build up to be majors. 

We need to stop disregarding our own actions and learn to fix them. 

AM I CRAZY?

Asalmualaykum Warahmatullah,

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the lack of posts lately. 

This week has been jam packed and exhausting. 

This blog post is going to be talking about 'mental illness'.

I have often wondered if we all suffer with some form of mental illness during some point in our lives.

I feel as though the more I get older, the more people I realise, have gone through some sort of mental break down.

I use the word 'mental' to highlight the fact that we cannot see the pain that others suffer with. It is not immediately apparent to us that more people than we think are suffering because there is no physical wound.

I'll share with you my story.

It all started when I was in year 13 (last year of sixth form/college) after the christmas holidays. 

Because I had initially experienced failing some subjects, I was adamant never to do that again. 

Come christmas holidays, I spent the entirety of the two weeks, couped up in my room, not leaving unless its to go to the toilet or to eat. Even when I ate, I brought the food to my room and continued to work. 

The day before my exam, I suddenly felt exhausted mentally, and almost felt like after all of that work, I could not be bothered to do my exams. However, I stuck to it.

I felt so exhausted after, that I was not ready to jump straight into work again. But back then, there was no break between your January exams and the preparation for the summer exams. 

I just felt like I needed a break, but that didn't come because I had to start working for the summer exams. Every year, my birthday has been smack-bang in the middle. However, turning 18 was the worst for me. My mind was everywhere, I was thinking about my exams, turning 18 and being almost 20! Which meant 10 years from 20, which meant 20 years from 40, which meant that I only had to live the amount of years that I've already lived before Im 'old'. I forgot how long time was. I couldn't see time! I felt like it was running and I couldn't catch it. I was thinking about moving for uni. I overthought e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

As the exams approached, and studying started up again, I remember sitting at my desk in my room then it was like a trigger went off in my head and I felt like I was going crazy.

Actually insane.

I felt like my entire conscious barrier that stops what is appropriate and what isn't, crumbled. 

Disappeared. 

I could no longer control my thoughts. In two seconds I was gone, I couldn't sit still, I needed to pinch  myself to try and distract my thoughts but nothing worked. 

Its hard to explain, but my dark thoughts were Islamic based. I felt like I didn't know enough to help myself.

I call it my lost period.

I no longer wanted to be in my room, it made me sick.

I was caught pacing downstairs by my mum even though I can hardly remember how long I was there for. I think I scared my mum because she caught me in the pitch black darkness in the middle of the night just walking in circles. 

It got to the point where I felt like if I was to open my mouth, all the bad stuff that was going on in my head was going to tumble out.

I forgot how to communicate with people.

I didn't know how I ever made conversation with anyone. 

I just forgot.

I started forcing myself to spell Allah using my tongue across my teeth.

I started trying to focus all my energy into making sure I knew who Allah was to me. 

I had to use so much mental strength to try and envision what I was, who I was.

It was like rebuilding myself up with the constant force of evil pushing against me. 

It was like I was trying to close a door but pushing against an army of strong men who were trying to keep the door open. 

I thought I was a lost cause. 

I tried to find help but never found it.

I tried to communicate but no-one understood.

I tried to describe it but it came out light.

Even self-harm crosses your mind, aoothobillah.

Anything to get rid of these thoughts, these evil thoughts.

May Allah protect us all!

I could barely concentrate on my exams, I didn't know how to feel about university.

I didn't know how to feel at all.

Slowly but surely I started forcing myself. 

Fighting to figure out how to push my mental gate back up.

Learn more, fight more. 

Everyone thought I was normal, that I was fine. But I wasn't.

I tried to make my mind strong again, by reading, by watching videos.

I was worried about going to uni because I wasn't sure how I was going to communicate with anyone because I had developed this thing where if was to converse with anyone, in the middle of the conversation something would happen and I was scared that I would voice the thought in the middle of the conversation without warning. So I would have to have a break mid conversation to collect my thoughts before continuing. 

To this day, its a constant battle. To this day, I worry about stress. 

It does make you stronger, but it makes you wary. 

I never want to go there again. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

You can never fully explain a mental process. You can never do the experience justice. 

All you can do is warn people the events leading up to the situation and how to avoid it.

Nothing is more important than your health. Not even success. 

HURT HAPPENS

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

There is an anonymous saying: 'Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional."

I can't imagine that anyone can go through life without being hurt at least once.

Whether its physically, mentally or emotionally. 

Whether its by someone you know, or you don't know.

Whether its by someone or by something. 

I feel like I am a stubborn person.

I find it hard to let go. I find it hard to forgive and forget. 

I feel like I am more likely to forget than forgive, when it shouldn't be like that. 

It should be to forgive. I guess that is why in Islam forgiving is so important, because it is hard!

Sometimes I feel like what someone is hurt by, generally is a reoccurring situation. Be it through your imperfections, or through family ties.

When something happens, I don't think of it as 'hurt'. It generally is something that gets me down or angry or something, but 'hurt' doesn't automatically jump into my mind.

There are some things in my life that I am definitely holding on to, but forcing myself to let go. 

It's almost like holding someones hand when you are being pulled away, slowly, the grip becomes looser.

But I can definitely say that you live and you learn. 

You get better and you adapt.

But it does shape you.

Everything in life shapes you.

Whether its good or bad.

But we are who we are as a result of our experiences, our drives. 

What we do should be for a purpose. We should try to please Allah.

May Allah make it easier, make us spiritually stronger. 

Ameen 

4 FUNNIEST MOMENTS WITH MY BROTHER

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Today I thought I would talk about my brother and I.

Although there is one year and seven months between us, I would say we are rather like twins than him being my older brother. 

I would probably say that people think I'm the eldest (and one of my stories will highlight this fact). 

So here are the 4 funniest moments with my brother:

1. I would probably say that this is one of THE funniest moments in my life. One day, my brother and I were chilling, and somehow got onto the topic of his jet black beard. He was telling me how he had forgotten what it was like to not have a beard. So I told him that I have something called the 'concealer' which is used to hide imperfections on the skin, but i'm sure that it can conceal the beard too. He told me that if the plan ends successfully, that he was going to wear that particular makeup everyday to school after that. 

So we ran upstairs to my room and I got my cheap magazine makeup down, and started applying it to his beard. After I had almost finished my concealer (which I had owned for years before that), I realised that it wasn't exactly making a difference, if anything he now had a brown beard. In that very instant, I had developed a great plan, that required no brain power whatsoever.

I saw my lipstick! My brother then asked me what I was doing, and I said that the colour matched his skin tone and that it would cover up the bits that the concealer was unable to hide. 

So, thats what I did. 

Except, it was RED lipstick. I was having the time of my life! (I cannot write this without dying of laughter).

 I began drawing over his beard until he looked like a maniac! 

After I was done, I was trying so hard to keep my laugh in, so he goes to the mirror and looks. He cannot believe his eyes! 

BUT,

Low and behold, my mother walks in. 

"AMMIINNNNN WHAT IS THIS!" (She shouts in Algerian) 

"ARE YOU TRYING TO TURN HIM INTO A GIRL?"

Swear down, that was the first time where my mum was shouting at me that I couldn't remain serious. 

Basically I died laughing. 

2. When we were younger, I didn't know that there was such a thing as laughing so much you could cry. 

So one day, I was supposed to go to sleep, but my brother was showing me a board and made jokes that for some reason I found hilarious at the time. I can't exactly remember what he was saying or doing.

But I laughed so much, that I started to cry.

But because I didn't have this associative concept that you can laugh and cry, I thought that when you cry, it meant that you were upset. Bearing in mind that I was laughing so much, which reduced me to tears, I was confused.

As soon as a tear fell down my face, I switched, and in 2 seconds I started bawling, and ran downstairs to tell on him for making me cry. LOL

Poor guy didn't know what hit him. Even he looked confused. 

3. One night, me and my brother thought it would be a good idea to sneak downstairs to watch TV because we obviously couldn't get enough of it. So we devised a spectacular plan to wake up when everyone was sleeping, and cover ourselves in a white sheet so no-one could make out who we are. 

WE BOTH FLEW DOWN THE STAIRS, LITERALLY. So we think.

Whenever we tell anyone this story they never believe us, they think we were dreaming, but if it was a dream how could we have the same dream! 

We literally missed all the stairs and floated till we reached the bottom, no joke. 

We were amazing. 

4. This one isn't so much funny to me as it is to my brother. My brother has always come across younger than me. Either he acted younger, or I acted older. Either way, we were going on holiday one day and we sat on an airplane next to each-other, I sat on the seat next to the walk way and he sat on the other side of me. During those times, they would give a special lunch box to every child, that contained, sweets, crisps, toys and books. A dream back then!

My brother was 12 at the time and I was 10, but you couldn't have those lunchboxes beyond a certain age (12). 

Anyway, I was about to sleep when the air hostess comes along and is handing out these lunchboxes for children. 

This lady, comes around and completely misses me out and hands my brother a box. So I sit there waiting patiently for my box, but this lady sees a child behind me and starts giving them the box. So me waiting around patiently, obviously feeling 100% child back then, thought she'd come back for me.

But she never came. 

My brother never shared his box with me, instead he thought it was HILARIOUS. 

I still feel bitter to this day. 

(loljk)

TIME MANAGEMENT

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Time.

Time is constantly moving. The numbers are the same, the speed is the same.

What differs is us humans, as individuals and how we perceive it. 

I used to think that the saying 'time flies by as you get older' was a literal meaning, but obviously my naivety was clear. 

Lately, however, I do feel that my mind set hinders my ability to do more in a given period of time. 

I am pretty sure that if I allowed myself, that my organisation skills will activate and I could handle more in one go. 

However, my fear of becoming anxious with a heap load of stuff stops me from doing so. 

The idea that if I have too many things going on at once, I wont have enough time to focus and improve on one thing. 

I do need to create a balance.

I do need to make time to do more and stop thinking about the future too much. I need to seize this time by:

Prioritising: If I do have the opportunity to do more, that means prioritising certain situations for another. 

Balance: Make sure to include all aspects of my life without rejecting other areas such as socialising

Doing: Actually saying 'yes' more than 'no' or 'what if..'

Encouraging each others growth is key.

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM A ROOKIE

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Today I thought it would be interesting to write a few points about relationships and its benefits that I feel is key, from the view point of someone who has never been in a relationship.

Firstly, I'd like to give some background on why I felt to write this.

So many young people who I have spoken to, mainly girls, feel conflicted when it comes to discussing marriage and wanting to be enthusiastic about the prospect. 

Not only does it link with the idea that mothers and fathers are so adamant that their child marries someone from the same country, or the same ethnicity, it also links to the fear that no value is held in loyalty and upholding a relationship. 

Divorce has become such an easy option that in this secular society, partners prefer to live together without the bond of marriage. People no longer want 'one' of something for the rest of their lives. Its this idea of the 'more the better' which is complete rubbish. 

When the dynamic is right, the relationship is right. It all begins with starting off properly. 

(I have this inner fear, that if something starts from the go as haram, then its hard to overcome that obstacle). 

Anyways, here are my top tips for a successful relationship from an outsiders perspective:

Communication: I know this is something that comes up a lot. I believe that if you communicate your feelings without too many barriers then you should both make a conscious effort to communicate and make things better. This is so that you don't end up building up this hatred because the person is doing something that annoys you without them being aware of it. Ill use the example of me and my mother. As I grow older I find it harder to bottle my feelings inside. Obviously there are some things here and there that I would rather not bring up in case of hurting her but overall I would much rather tell her if something is bothering me than keep it in, just so that it can be fixed. 

Compromise: If you feel like you want your partner to engage in something that you feel strongly about, you should 100% be willing to return the favour within reason. If you want a day of the week to be available to take part in something together, then you should also be willing to take part in what your partner wants to do also.

Team: By using the term 'team' I feel as though this links with the idea of trust. Trust in a relationship needs to be solid. It needs to be unbreakable. You need to trust in everything, from how you raise your children, to letting out secrets, to being able to trust that you are the one and only. By being a team with your partner, this means that no matter what comes at you, you will still remain strong. One of the best things I heard a couple say was that when they raise their children, and the child has done something that one parent has strictly forbidden, once they have laid out a punishment they will not turn back on it. 

Understanding: I wouldn't say that I am a romantic, but I would say that the best thing about a strong relationship is this underlying understanding that one has for the other. This sense that you don't have to talk before the other one gets what it is you are feeling or thinking. I feel like on starting a relationship, whether or not extended family or children come into the mix, there should be this set idea that your relationship will last longer than everything and that needs to be stable in order for everything else to succeed. Insha'Allah if we all live to see the day, the children will eventually grow up and leave the nest, but your partner will be the one who remains. So if that relationship is strong, then everything else is strong. 

I don't want to take up more of your time by writing a whole load of other stuff because I do know that a bunch of other factors eventually wheedle their way in and life is not always that dandy. But I feel like sometimes its always nice to acknowledge what it is you want in life (not necessarily about relationships) so that you can live your life in a way that allows things to fit into it.

I often use the example of Islam which is a way of life. 

You need to fit your life to the way of Islam, and not Islam to your way of life. 

5 BENEFITS OF RELIGION

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

As a Muslim who has been raised in the religion I can only speak from this perspective, however, I wouldn't say I am closed minded enough to not know what it must be like to not have a religion and to believe in different things. 

Growing up in a largely non-Muslim area where multi-religions and cultures wasn't prevalent, I could probably say there was a period where I strayed and was lost with regards to what I believe in. 

However, Alhamdullilah I know Islam is the one for me. 

Here are some of the main things about religion that I feel are beneficial to a person:

1. Sense of Belonging: One of the main things I love about religion is that I feel like I belong to a community larger than my immediate friends and family. Being acknowledged in the street by a fellow Muslimah who passes over a smile of mutual understanding fills the heart with joy. Even with the small Muslim community back at home is lovely because although its small, its much more intimate allowing us to all get to know each-other individually and act as though they are extended family.

2. Understanding Your Purpose: Some people would say that their purpose in life is to find happiness, others would say its to live life to its fullest, others would say its to be successful and financially stable. Being religious gives you a life purpose that goes beyond this world and onto the next. Some people who are not religious can be apprehensive towards this idea and feel as though after death is being food for animals. However, being religious allows us to feel like what we do in this life will affect the outcome in the afterlife, which leads to us behaving in a way that we feel is morally correct and calms our souls.

3. Lifestyle and Health: As a Muslim, this one is very important. Our bodies are there for us to look after. As though it is a gift given to us to maintain and take care of, meaning we should not purposefully hurt ourselves, or mark ourselves. We need to look after our bodies and health, be it physical or mental. With regards to lifestyle, being religious allows us to choose a path that does not require damaging our own bodies. For example, trying to avoid drinking alcohol or taking drugs. These are all known habits to affect a persons health, and is also a religious teaching that tells us to avoid harmful substances.

4. We Are Not Alone: I believe that my religion teaches me that I am never 100% alone. Allah is always there, watching me, listening to me and so on. There are times where I walk in the street by myself and have a sense of not being safe, and the first thing I think about is the fact that Allah is there, He will protect me and no-one can harm me without Allah allowing them to do so. Not being by yourself doesn't have to mean in danger but can apply to all occasions.

State of Mind: I feel like being religious, or following a religion or belief gives me a reason to do things. For example, it gives you almost an excuse not to follow social norms with regards to fashion if you feel more comfortable in more modest clothing. It allows us to cover up and not become forced or sucked into these ideology that nudity is better. It gives us a purpose to give to charity, whether thats an incentive to do so or not, whether we think of that or not. It grounds us and makes us remember who we are and that we are not strong and we don't have all the rights in the world to inflict harm on others when we please. It gives us a communal sense of, if someone is hurt then we hurt alongside them.

I believe that there is more to religion that what people nowadays see religion as. Someone from the outside cannot fully know what is going one in the inside and so on. Its like the idea that we 'can't judge a book by its cover'.

When you think of that literally you will know that you cannot assume you know what it is like unless you have found something to truly believe in.

I FEEL RESTRICTED.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

Starting my third year of university seemed so daunting during the summer. However, like with everything when you start something you automatically have to take it into your stride. 

It feels as though, time in itself is rushing by, but I have so much I need to get done that getting a clear idea in my head of how to sort it out seems to be difficult. 

It has almost reached the point of me being confused between the restrictions that I am putting on myself regarding my future, and the restrictions that I assume I have from other sources of my life.

I wish I had the magical ability of balancing so many things at once. But that is the one thing that creates chaos and anxiety in my own mind. 

Sometimes I wish I could remove that restriction that I have on myself and just go out and do the things that I want to do. 

It is almost a protection strategy that I have to stop myself from spiralling downwards into my previous mental state.

I don't know what boundaries to push and what boundaries to keep.

I don't know how to make myself motivated and to inspire myself.

But still, time comes, and time goes. 

I will continue to deal with it. 

CALM BEFORE THE STORM

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Today has been one of those days.

One of those days where you crave peace and change.

Imagining myself on an empty beach far away.

The sand in-between my toes,

The soft breeze across my face.

The sun setting there in the horizon.

The sound of the seagulls searching for food,

The fresh, clean deep breaths of air.

The distant sound of clashing waves.

The plain blue skies blending into the sea.

The reflection of the sun on the water.

The moment of calmness before the storm.

The feeling of recuperation. 

Thats what I need. 

FEAR OF ISLAM

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

For the past few days I have watched two documentaries on BBC iplayer, one called 'Is Britain Racist?' and the other 'We Want Our Country Back'.

There was so much talk about Muslims, especially, are 'taking over' and soon Britain wont be Britain and soon it will be 'Islam'. Not once did they consider the fact that a lot of people who are completely British are the ones reverting to Islam. Why is that the case? 

Another issue that was being raised was this idea that Muslims should go back to their country. 

It is so annoying when people are so ignorant to say that Muslims need to go back to their country as though 'Islam' is a COUNTRY. No. Islam is a RELIGION. How can Muslims living in Britain go back to their country when their country is ENGLAND. 

People are becoming afraid of Islam as the fastest growing religion in the world, and not once have they stopped to ask why it is fast growing? Surely there must be some element of truth. 

But no, instead, all you see is people literally picking at a particular word or phrase that they have just picked out of thin air and use it to jump to conclusions about Islam. 

They pick out phrases so out of context that when they mention it, they sound so ridiculous you almost feel to laugh. 

This ideology that Islam is aggressive, when in fact it literally encapsulates peace is just ludicrous. 

This ignorant speech that people like to talk about because they follow new outlets such as Fox News like its a reliable source of information.

The fact that the people who you see joining clubs such as the EDL are people who have never in their life interacted with a muslim, let alone had a decent conversation with one to even base their radical behaviour on. 

They antagonise people to get a reaction and when they get a reaction that they initially fused, they immediately make it seem as though it was the muslim who was in fault and who is aggressive.

These people almost want to seem important by making it seem as though they are targeted when they're probably deluded into that assumption. 

No-one cares. Why are we even putting people into categories. Why do we need to pinpoint an individuals race or religion.

Why do people have double standards about immigration. They don't want anyone to come to this country yet they feel as though they have the freedom to move elsewhere if they please. 

Mate, that is the same thing. 

I cant even comprehend the absolute ignorance of some people.

I would have more respect for someone who made a conscious effort to learn about Islam inside and out and who find found fault with it after extensive research. Even non-muslims who have read about the Prophet (pbuh) have commented on the fact that Islam is a beautiful religion.

So why are people following these ignorant groups.

Well... I have no words. 

TOP 10 TIPS FOR STARTING UNIVERSITY

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah,

Starting university or anything after secondary school can be a daunting or exciting experience depending on how you embrace it. 

When I started university I was not in a good place mentally but had to force myself to get on with it.

However, as time passed I began to enjoy university to a certain extent.

 Looking back now on my first and second year, I can definitely say that second year was probably the best year for me in terms of feeling like I belonged. 

Here are my top 10 tips for starting university:

1. Sentimental Items: If you are living out, make sure to take a few items that will make you feel at home and also bring a familiar feel to the place. 

2. Cooking: Make sure you have a few recipes under your belt, the worst thing to do is spend money you don't have every day to have a meal. Although its tempting to eat out, it saves A LOT of money to eat in once in a while. 

3. Organise your time: This depends on who you are, if you prioritise socialising before your work, then you need to be more careful. Have fun but at the same time rule out a few hours a week to make sure that you have caught up on the work required. If you leave everything until the last few weeks of your exam, that becomes unnecessary pressure. However, if all you do is work, then once in a while you need to make time for yourself to go out, to get fresh air, to do something completely different in order to take your mind off. Theres nothing better than having a good day out and coming back ready to face work again.

4. Budget: Not all of us are lucky enough to have a big sum of money come in and to have enough leftovers for massive outings. My advice would be to budget to a certain extent, where you know you wont be left stranded, but at the same time, give yourself leeway so that if an opportunity does arise then you can afford to rule out some money to put towards that. 

5. Attend your lectures: We all eventually get lazy and feel like once we have missed one lecture, the joy is so sweet that we want to miss all of them. All i'm saying is sometimes things will be said in that lecture theatre that is only going to be said once, and you wont find it in any of your readings. 

6. Keep in contact with your family: One of my main fears was that my family will move on and do things without me, but in fact you have to realise that not much may change on their side. Keeping in contact may also spur you on to enjoy your time at university more.

7. Make friends: they always say that if you leave university with at least 3 friends then you are very lucky. The only way you will make friends is to make enough of an effort. You also have to realise that university holds a diverse amount of people, if you don't want to go out to party, you will always find someone else who is not interested in that aspect too. Don't conform to what you see in front of you, rather know that who you are in university is who you are going to be for the rest of your life. 

8. Join a society: For me, this is a questionable piece of advice. Only because, although I had initially joined a lot of societies, I only really stuck by one. If you enjoy certain activities then I would recommend joining them as they a good way to get out and do different things. But from my own experience, I would rather join societies that are actually worth my time, without investing unnecessary amounts of money on random societies.

9. Don't buy every book mentioned: This is one for all the first years. In my first year I bought every book that I thought was needed, instead of renewing a book borrowed from the library. It wasn't that bad of a move because I knew it was my book, however I bought it new from the internet for £60 a piece. I didn't even try other avenues where they were selling the same books for much cheaper. I just straight up bought the books for their originally prices. As long as the book is the one that is recommended you don't need the newest ones out there. Eventually when you want to get rid of them, they're going to sell for less than half the original price anyway.   

10. Social Media: Keep in contact with your classmates, be it via whatsapp groups or other online websites. This will help you to be aware on what is going on, what is new, the events that are happening, people may even share what was told by them via private email. All of it is necessary to make your life that bit easier. 

These are my tips for university. Obviously we all have different experiences, but essentially they are all the same. Just enjoy it. There is no point in complaining about having a bad time, when you want to stay to do the education. Just wait it out for the first few weeks, if you continue to have a bad time then you need to do something about it, however, most of the time you need to wait until the newness has subsided to feel like you can handle anything that comes towards you. Eventually it will become normal.