WHAT MAKES A FRIEND?

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

In today's blog I wanted to talk about friendship and the importance of distinguishing between time-wasters and true friends. 

It is a lot easier said then done, because we are always going to find faults in others that we don't particularly like, but the important part about it is overcoming that negative because a positive aspect overrides the negative. 

The transition between school and university has given me a stronger understanding and recognition who my long term friends are in comparison to people who were temporary and for the moment. 

There are numerous 'types' of friends that can be distinguished throughout life. 

But there are moments where you can feel the friendship and the effort that people put into your relationship which makes them worthwhile. 

I was always the type of person who had friends from different groups, so it wasn't like all my friends hung out together, rather I was close to individuals who were part of different crowds. 

For me personally, I can maintain contact with people even if I don't see them regularly, however, that is usually to people who are willing to do the same. If there is no mutual effort put in then there's no point really..

There are friends who you have known since you can remember. These are the people that you first met when you went to a school, or moved to a particular area. For me, there is one girl who I have known since I can remember, probably one of the first friends I had. Alhamdullilah for them, because even if you don't see them on a regular basis, when you do see them you bounce back as though there was no chunk of time missing between when you met last and now. 

After having left secondary school, you assume that you are going to be in contact with those friends forever, however, that is not the case. You may keep in contact with some of them on and off or when you go out or when you are both in the same location, but can you really tell those people everything? So the people that you are still in contact with are the ones you cherish, purely because there is a mutual effort to stay in contact, even if it through silly means such as snapchat. There is just constant communication.

When I first went to university, I took my time when it came to friends. I wasn't in a healthy head space, and I went to uni in the worst possible state. I found that I forgot how to talk to people and make conversation but Alhamdullilah one of my best friends now was there which helped me get better. Our class for some reason was supportive with each-other but it felt like there was always an element of competition between some people that made you just not want to talk about how your grades were doing etc. But there are also really great people at uni who you meet and have a conversation with. Again, the friends that I made were scattered and not part of one group, and I became closer with individuals. 

You learn to appreciate people and I think when it comes to approaching the end of university experience, you really just want to make sure that you are on the same level as the friends you have made in terms of staying close and making plans to visit one another. 

Its one of those things where in the moment you consider everyone as your friends but when you are put in a situation that challenges friendship thats when your real friends begin to show.

But Alhamdullilah. 

Allah has given us people, close or not, and those who help us become better people are the ones who we should keep.