IT'S JUST UPHILL FROM HERE.

Asalamualaykum Warahmatullah, 

I feel like lately I have just been filled with an emotional whirlwind where I want to enjoy myself but I feel like other people are stopping me from doing so. 

I receive advice such as 'just enjoy yourself' or 'do something fun' yet they are the people who contradict their own saying by making me feel bad if I do do something.  

People think they can bring you down purely because they are going through troubles or they are not having a good day and they are fully aware of this, yet they still don't change. 

I hate it with passion when others are not aware of how they make you feel. Own up to yourself. Take charge of your own behaviour. 

I don't care how close people are, they should still look out for others and make sure that your behaviour is not hurting others. LET ME BE FREE. 

Just so much hypocrisy. 

So much selfishness. 

The ease of which people turn my calmness and happy days into bad days with a click of their fingers. 

But that is not going to happen anymore. 

I will enjoy myself. 

I will live everyday.

I will do as I please. 

I will better myself.

I will be happy for myself and for you.

But I wont let others think they can control me. 

All I want is to do what I enjoy. 

Go out with friends and family, enjoy new experiences, new days.

But also enjoy home days, relaxing and having a laugh.

Why is that too much to ask for?